‘We are known for our collapses’.

With blue skies and warm winds to greet them Ibstone came down from their windswept tundra to bask in the Meadows blue skies. With the toss duly lost The Pelicans were sent out to field first.

Opening from the Railway End once again we found Toobes, this time attempting to bowl beyond four overs, it was touch and go if an ambulance would be needed. Taking up the call from the Nags End was Josh ready to strike fear into the Ibstone batsmen on what was a slow and lush green wicket.

Continuing on from last week Toobes was soon into his dynamic rhythm, a slow trundle before unleashing an even slower hell. This approach was again miserly in the run count and even managed to yield a wicket with the 5 over spell going for 13 runs.

Josh all arms and legs similarly as generous as a cross between a Scotsman and a Yorkshireman bowled a great spell of 7 overs for only 17 runs, very unfortunate not to get a wicket or two.

With the opening bowlers taken off it was time for Raheel (Railway End) and Hasan (Nags End) to try and take out the numbers 1 and 3 batsmen respectively who were let’s be honest hanging around for too long and tickling the score along nicely. Raheel did what Raheel always does, lands the ball on the spot, consequently his 7 overs only yielded 19 runs.

Hasan meanwhile attempting to claw back a modicum of sibling respect in his first over, took his first wicket of the day, a nice lob up to Raheel, we were back in the game. Unfortunately, this was followed by a bit of a wicket desert as the runs trickled along but the batsmen remained in place. Thankfully it took ‘almost as good Arif’ a few more overs until he dismissed the number 3 batsman who had been going along very nicely and amassed 43 runs. It must be said that 4 of those runs came off Nico’s boundary fielding where with all the grace of a dying walrus having overdosed on sleepeaze he fell over the ball his head hitting the wire fencing and his hand placed firmly on the ball.

Hasan not content with his two wickets then took out the number 5 batsman clean bowled, he finally left the bowling arena 7 overs 3 for 36. A nice return and some very good wickets.

Before the final pairing of Nico and Alex there was the unbelievable sight of Toobes coming back for a second spell. Unbelievable in that it had not been seen before and unbelievable in that he wasn’t carted off to Stoke Mandeville, anyway after a further two overs he retired gracefully with 7 overs 1 for 20.

With Nico taking over from Toobes and after a first over sighter he soon got into his groove and come the second over removed the number 6 batsmen, Alex meanwhile immediately found his groove and his first over yielded his first wicket, Now I am not exaggerating here but with the ball smacked over to mid-wicket Hasan like a cobra made up the ground and with the dexterity of something both quick and dexterous flung himself to his right and with the ball millimetres off the ground managed to get his fingers under the ball and hold onto it as well. A brilliant catch.

Alex not happy with one wicket followed up with a second wicket in his second over, a nice lob up to Josh.

Meanwhile Nico having tasted blood decided to go for the young number 7. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to tell young Alfie this, who took a bit of a liking to Nico’s bowling and indeed managed to dispense everywhere including a lovely shot over the railway line into Little Kingshill.

Nico Van de Beek as it says in the book did manage to bowl out the number 9 batsman in his last over leaving two batsmen standing, the final wicket being taken by Alex and another Arif, but this time Handsome Arif, who having watched the ball soar into the air and then slowly return to earth finally decided to go forth and catch it in a similar vein to Has, millimetres from the ground.

End of the innings 139 to win, a tricky total on the wicket.

Tea this week came from the fair hand of Niron and a fine offering it was to which had the opposition reflecting on their own tea position.

With tea taken Raheel and Alex ventured to the square to show the Ibstone upstarts what a Pelican run chase looks like. Unfortunately, Raheel hadn’t quite picked up that message and to be fair unusually for him he was out in the second over, bowled for 1.

Not to worry we still had plenty of batting and Alex was ready to take up the challenge and attack the run rate, now to be fair an Alex run chase tends to look rather familiar, some lovely straight bat shots followed by a swish and then out, followed by a large amount of swearing and kit being thrown around in the clubhouse. BUT not today, no today there were no lovely straight bat shots.

With the Pelicans 2 down Yusuf was joined by Handsome Arif, unfortunately Yusuf visualised the ball disappearing over the railway line for 6, the spectators actually saw it hit his stumps, the Pelicans were rocking on 13 for 3.

Thankfully Ajmal was joined by Amit. Now I say thankfully but that is said through half opened fingers as Amit does have a tendency once settled in to then swipe at the ball and be bowled. Thankfully today we witnessed careful Amit, until we didn’t and after 14 runs on the board a mighty swish saw Amit bowled.

Meanwhile Ajmal having carefully played himself in started piling up the runs as he was now joined by Niron. It was a cameo performance as he was soon bowled for three leaving Ajmal with a new partner Tony who similarly fell for three.

The Pelicans were in deep Doo Doo but not to worry the Skipper had held his ace back, Josh Bailey who had been itching for a higher placing. Now was his moment to show the Skipper where he could stick his number 8 batting position.

Out he went and back he came bowled for 0, next week he will be at 10.

Anyway we still had Hasan who with his brother Ajmal looked like the ship was starting to stabilise, this is always a bad moment and so it proved to be again as Ajmal was unfortunately bowled but not before making a fantastic 65.

With the Pelicans on 127 firstly Nico went out, was bowled and promptly fell over for 0, this was followed by Toobes going out and being bowled for nought but remaining standing. Hasan was left stranded, the Pelicans all out for 128.

All in all a great day to play cricket, a thoroughly nice opposition just a rubbish scoreline.

Let’s take it to The Heath

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Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.