With clear skies and temperatures rising the day looked perfect for a fine game of cricket against new opposition Aston Rowant. As the morning wore on the Pelis collected their cricket whites and gave wives and children longing kisses as they prepared to to engage in deeds of daring do, this would be a day for heroes and those Pelis knew it…

With nerves being stretched to breaking point car keys were turned and engines fired up, it was happening, we were going over the top.

BUT THEN a distant ringing broke the mid day birdsong. Attempting to contain raw emotions General PG with quivering voice uttered the following “They’ve just cancelled, its 12.30 and they have just cancelled, said they have a cup game and can’t raise a team and are sorry for any inconvenience”

“You’re bloody joking” screamed Captain Toobes, “we have sent the boys over the top they will be slaughtered”. “Do all you can” whispered PG, “it’s a lost cause but for the sake of the team just try”, the frustration was rising in PGs voice. “Never again will they do this to us” resignation resonating in his statesman tones.

“PG I’ll try, wish me Godspeed” Captain Toobes muttered, his face puce with anger. “I cant believe it, this is outrageous” he spoke quietly to himself as he fummbled for the iPhone6 he always carried around with him.

With ashen face Toobes looked at Mrs Toobes, she sensed foreboding hesitating before asking what the problem was, “They’ve cancelled, they’ve bloody cancelled at 12.30, I must tell the boys, it wil be lambs to the slaughter” his voice rising again in frustration.

“I’ll leave you to it”, she said, a look of terror spreading like a spring tide across her face.

“I will get the children out of the house, I think I can get them to Prestwood traction engine fair in time.”

“Do all you can” Toobes said, slumped over his iPhone6 looking far older than his 53 years. “I have sent out the text, it’s in the hands of God now”. He sat back and took a long drag on his cigarette, looking out into the distance, “God help The Lee next week” he whispered

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Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.