“Sorry losers and haters, my IQ is one of the highest-and you all know it” Donald Trump
WWW first three games for the Pelicans I think you will find is not fake news. Skip

On a day that brought home the vagaries of the British Summer after last week’s 4-degree freezeathon we welcomed Holmer Green to the Meadow, a first time in many years, a team that worryingly looked both fit and young.

The Pelicans sat hunched over their kit bags making various aged noises as the Skipper went out to toss, using this week the lucky Harris 2 Euro remainer coin, having dispensed with the rather unlucky iPhone 6.

With the toss in the bag Skip elected to bowl and informed the eager team who greeted such news with a cacophony of grunts as they stood up and started to get dressed into nicely pressed cricket whites.

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans was Toobes from the railway end and Hasan from the Club house end, both bowling 6 overs apiece and both taking two wickets apiece for very few runs, a platform had been set and it was up to JG and Adam to build on that platform, and build on it they did. JG overjoyed at finally bowling down the hill also got in to the act of 2 wickets for very few runs, but Adam was on fire. With a combination of loopy high balls, skidding low balls, balls going on the on side, balls going on the off side and the occasional straight one, Holmer Greens finest were utterly bamboozled, it is fair to say so were the Pelicans. The outcome of such bowling was to decimate the Holmer Green middle order as 4 wickets quickly fell. With Adam looking at a five-for and like a Belisha beacon his request of ‘Skip anytime you want to take me off’ was heeded before nature took the decision out of the Skip’s hands.

Whilst all this carnage was taking place Niron had also been unleashed onto the unsuspecting Holmer Green team and returned a very respectable 5 overs for hardly any runs.

It was JG who was called into the action once again to finish the innings and took the final wicket as Holmer Green posted a score of 89 runs.

Having seen the difficulty the week earlier of getting past 70 the game was finely in the balance.

An early tea was taken and the opposition were filled up on cakes and cheese perfect for running around on a hot summer’s day.

Opening for the Pelicans we had the ever consistent Clive and the mighty Asad.

Asad unusually for him decided to run a few quick singles until a mighty 6 was unleashed into the clubhouse. Having suddenly got the flavour of big hitting he was then undone by in his own words by one that did nothing but successfully hit his pads whilst he stood in front of the wicket.

Clive on the other hand had discovered the boundary and with customary grace started to dispatch the balls away, unfortunately the 12-year-old bowling had worked Clive out and bowled a slow straight one, which confused Clive as he swished his bat and edged it onto his wicket.

With Iceman already at the crease, Ali entered the arena to finish off Holmer Green. Deciding that he was going to up his game from last week Ali looked like a man possessed, unfortunately the entity that was possessing him on this occasion had never played cricket before and possibly wasn’t human as the 12-year-old had once again worked Ali out on this occasion without bowling at him, Ali spooned a catch up to mid off and trudged off shaking his head exorcising the entity out of his body. The Pelicans were looking not too clever.

Meanwhile at the other end the Iceman in his rodent-damaged pads had decided to steady the good ship Pelican and looked in imperious form as he dispatched 3 balls off to the boundary. Unfortunately such play was never to last as he fell, LBW, but on a respectable score of 16 having finally given the Pelicans a platform.

At the wicket we had Bomber Harris and Jalil. Now if an award is ever to be given for bloody mindedness in the face of overwhelming odds against you, then Bomber would have it as he followed sweep shot after sweep shot missing every one. It was not until his about 20th attempt when he finally connected much to the delirious joy to the masses watching. Jalil on the other hand had a completely different approach as 5 4s will prove in the scorebook. Setting himself up nicely with 4 to win Jalil hoisted a ball towards the boundary looking all day like a 6 but finishing off as a 4. Game won.

The team returned to the changing room drained but victorious, Adam a bit behind also joined his team mates and confirmed he knew what success smelt like, apparently it isn’t pleasant.

With the Pelicans retiring to the Cross Keys NVDP called a quorum and fines were duly dispensed – high on the fines front was Bomber who had managed to find and wear the spring loaded gloves.

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Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.