“What a day for cricket, we cant lose today”. Famous last words from Skip

With the toss unbelievably lost Skip heard those dreaded words from the Golden Age Skipper, “We’ll let you have a bat”. “Excellent” remarked Skip, his words lodging somewhere between the lingual tonsil and oesophagus.

With spirits high at such a decision Clive and Grego took to the crease in order to build a platform from which this mighty Pelican team could inflict a catastrophic victory on Golden Age. The plan was looking perfect as Grego first smashed one off the square for two and then edged one for 4, this is where the plan then went a little off piste as in true Keaton Jennings form Grego left one and watched his bails then fly up into the air.

Making a welcome return to the Meadow our number three bat was Bails, first ball as ever, getting his eye in was smashed for four, couple of balls later edged to the wicket keeper. Now it must be said there was a degree of sympathy for Bails here with the clubhouse expecting the appeal to be turned down as the ball sailed somewhere between nipples and tummy button without touching the ground, unfortunately the Pelican umpires were unmoved by a questioning look from Bails, who then turned and trudged back to the clubhouse. Two down and with less than 15 on the board Golden Age were sensing an early victory, step forward Storm Ali, who this time had dispensed with Calm Ali and instead sent out his alter ego Dool.

First ball 4, next ball 4 and so it went on as Dool took the Golden Age bowling to pieces in no time getting to 30, unfortunately like a Super Nova Dool burns brightly and quickly and as his mass falls back into the core we then witness a full on core collapse and Dool Ali is returning back to the clubhouse.

Never fear we still had Clive propping up the other end, this week he had decided there would be no repeat of the 97 not out.

With Ali departing the field enter The Dragon, or as he is known on the hairdressing circuit Wild Ginger, strutting out with his signature tune blasting (Louie Louie), Tickles made ready at the crease to unleash hell.

What followed was a smorgasbord of cricket shots that peppered the Meadow boundary, and in what seemed an instant Tickles raised his bat to salute the vast crowd that had gathered to acknowledge his 50. Clive meanwhile deciding not to repeat the mistake of Ley Hill calmly went about his scoring, eventually like Tickles reaching his 50.

Things did not slow down as Tickles continued this onslaught and again in a blink of an eye the bat was raised again to acknowledge a marvellous 100, Clive by now in the lower 70s was preparing himself to unleash his form of hell, unfortunately Clive’s unleashing hell looked very similar to Clive batting normally and Skip decided with 248 runs on the score board a declaration was in order.

It was an excellent display of batting nonetheless from Tickles and Clive, who held his end up, sumptuously caressed his balls, and left a mess in his wake.

Tea time was undertaken by a tea virgin, namely Grego, and what a tea it was as Grego went from virgin to tea slut in one afternoon. A cornucopia of sandwiches, sausages, quiche, and cakes soon had both teams purring in appreciation.

Following tea the Pelicans took to the field with Toobes and Hasan opening. It took only until Hasan’s second over to remove the opener for GA, a fine catch by Bails behind the stumps. Toobes similarly got into the act and managed to bowl out the other opener and the Golden Age number 3 bat. With 5 overs bowled by Toobes and Has, tight figures of 2 for 14 and 1 for 23 were recorded in the book.

Looking to change the bowling Skip brought that mercurial metronome that is Rags on at the Railway End and Mr Line and Length, JG at the Nags End.

Suffice it to say the run rate became even slower as after 5 overs Rags and JG recorded 0 for 20 and 1 for 12 respectively. JG’s wicket a lovely ball that had the GA bat all over the place. It was during this spell that the only GA bat who had so far stayed long enough at the crease set off for a suicidal run, only to be run out by Bails following a fine throw by Has.

Once again with bowlers to spare Skip called the changes and brought in the twirling swirling cumulonimbus that is Adam from the Nags End, and a young Toobes or Better Toobes as he was christened from the Railway End.

There was a fine symmetry in their bowling as both bowlers after 5 overs had 36 runs to their names with Adam though taking two wickets, a fine stumping by Bails whose speed was that of a striking Cobra, and a fine catch from Hasan out near the boundary.

Special mention to Better Toobes who bowled following a hiatus of 3 years and after an initial nervy first couple of overs then found his line and length and indeed should have had a couple of wickets if catches had gone to hand.

With the GA batsmen combining 4’s and defence Skip again mixed his bowling and brought back Rags and Hasan. Rags’ over yielded one run, Hasan on the other hand bowled as follows

1st ball 4
2nd ball 4
3rd ball 4
4th ball bowled
5th ball Caught Toobes
6th ball LBW

A hat-rick and victory. What a way to finish a game, mobbed by his team mates Hasan was clapped off the field by the thousands who had turned up to watch the game.

With the game over the two teams retired to The Nags Head (Luke 15, 11-32) where beers were drunk with the opposition who, as they were last year, were a thoroughly decent and lovely set of players who we will welcome back to the Meadow next year.

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Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.